Things to read...

If time is short, I'd suggest reading at LEAST The Prologue and Legend of The Pinto Bean Posts!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

It's go time!!

He's no Dobe, but does that EVER say class!!

Well, by the time many of you read this, I'll probably be broken down on the side of the road somewhere. Supposing that DOESN'T happen, I'm hoping to head on up to Virginia somewhere, and stop wherever the sun sets.... Today has been quite the busy day preparing the Bean for its' maiden voyage as a house. The leaks have mostly been stopped, the brakes checked and rechecked, and a sound system revamp implemented... I'm now going to be able to entertain myself on the CB Radio, so expect at least one post somewhere along the way about my running in terror from a bunch of pissed off truckers when they get stuck behind the Bean at its' max cruise speed of 65mph. In addition to the CB, there's now a satellite radio hook-up, and GPS to ensure that I spend a minimal amount of time paying any attention to what it is I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. Like, you know, driving.

Entertainment was not the only implementation of the day, either! Needless to say, there were a number of trips made to a variety of stores for me to purchase all the stuff I forgot. I now also have a spiffy electric fan in the back to cool me down on those hot steamy truck stop nights. No lot lizards, please. A plethora of bungee cords was also purchased to ensure that I can't possibly find the one I need at the very moment I need it. Yeah, that's how I roll. Don't hate. I also promptly used one of the bungees to "install" a seven gallon water jug with easy access to the back door. It will likely become known as "the shower". Tomorrow I'm loading the cooler and my storage box in and then I'll be set! Yeah, I decided to get the storage box since I went all out and got the finest linens wal-mart had to offer! yeah that's right, I'll be reclining in air mattress bliss on 300 thread count sheets. Try not to wish you were me... Or Rockstar.

Speaking of Rockstar, let's get down to the stuff you REALLY wanna hear. Did anything funny happen with RTD today? Funny you should ask. Of course there did... I decided that in the interest of NOT dragging a rabid, retarded, worm infested fleabag across 36 states, I was going to have to get a few things done. So I took a good shower and the problem was mostly solved already. After that I loaded up Rocky and headed to the vet/boarder. Now MOST of you are probably gearing yourself up for the prerequisite "dog hates vet" story. Oh no no... Remember, this is Rocky The Destroyer we're talking about. He fears no vet. Actually, truth be told, RTD LOVES the vet. Seriously.... Anyhow, we loaded RTD into the back of Brittany's Honda Element since the Bean was partially loaded, and Matt wasn't around to volunteer HIS car, and headed out into the dreary day. I wasted no time in turning on the wrong set of windshield wipers, and the back window one went on. I peered into the rearview mirror and was greeted by a sight all should see at some point in their life. RTD was intently focused on the wiper, and his head was bouncing back and forth like a metronome. Amazingly I managed not to hit anything whilst laughing hysterically. Rocky just continued to be a bobblehead. Another good day was on the way.

We rolled into the vet where I realized I'd forgotten the leash, and went inside to get one. Rocky ran around and peed on all he could. Brittany just shook her head in disbelief. Finally, RTD was reigned in and we got him inside, where again, he began to pee on all he could. Twice. Now this is not typical RTD behavior, but this week has been new to him, so he was forgiven. Then he popped some anal gland goodness for us all to enjoy. The forgiveness was wearing off quickly. I went ahead and ordered the full workup, and we were ushered down the hall to the 'patient' rooms. RTD was sorely disappointed. See he's been there enough to know which door goes where, and he was crushed he wasn't going to the "boarding" door. Now most dogs have to be dragged down that hallway of abandonment. Rocky drags his handler down the Hallway of Infinite Possibilities every time he goes there. The newness never wears off, and I secretly wonder if there isn't some sorta pet spa back there. Maybe a little massage table and a steam bath? Couple of cats laid out by a pool, dogs trying hard to splash them before the five o'clock Gravy Train bell goes off? Given the way RTD heads out there, this may in fact be close to the truth.

Well we were in the room when the tech came for The Destroyer. I asked about microchipping in the event someone makes the mistake of stealing him. I figured whoever it was would want to know where to bring his stupid arse back to once he realized his mistake. I also had them express the ever so popular anal glands. Better safe than sorry. They then returned with RTD and three syringes for his shots. They then braced for the worst as they administered the shots. Rocky managed to accumulate a puddle of drool, and never so much as batted an eye. Then they came with the roundworm stuff, and nonchalantly got down to squeeze the tasty banana serum into his mouth. Well of course since no pain was involved, he was having none of it. It took three of us to hold him down while they squirted it in, and he still managed to slobber about 1/2 of it back out. Now that he looked rabid, it was time to go terrorize the other patrons. We headed to the checkout counter while RTD made his attempts to pee on the chairs again, and the techs gave us the evil eye. Finally, we headed back to the car for the ride home and the ever waiting Bean. Another day at the vet a total success for all involved. Except for whomever was next to sit in the middle chair. Sorry about that!

Stay tuned for tomorrow's tales from the road. Will I break down? Will the truck break down? Will gas prices rise more to make up for the fact that crude oil prices fell 8% today? Only time will tell!!

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