Things to read...

If time is short, I'd suggest reading at LEAST The Prologue and Legend of The Pinto Bean Posts!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

A look through Rockstar's Eyes...

Well everybody, I've successfully made it to DC, and lemme tell ya, the drive is nothing short of beautiful, as I've alluded to in previous posts... I'm staying with a good friend from flight school, so there will be no tales of torment in The Bean. I'm going to try to see my grandfather's burial spot here at Arlington, so expect a possible story about that in the future. I also hope to see some of the historic landmarks, and maybe go ring the doorbell and run over at the White House. I mean, I dunno, it could happen. You may want to monitor CNN for that update though... Anyhow, in lieu of great travel stories, I thought maybe I'd attempt to see the trip from RTD's eyes. While I realize that in real like it would be something like "lalalalalalalaYAYYYTRUCKlalaaaaYAYYYYFOODlalalalaNOOOOPIMPHANDRUNAWAYlalalala" I'll attempt to wizen him up a bit for the story's sake. That being said, for those who are tuning in now, you may want to go back and read the Rocky posts.

Before I start the story though, I feel I should give you a little more insight as to "Who Rocky Is". You know, what he stands for, the kinda dog he "is". Rocky is a night dog. When I have to wake up early, he looks at me like I just suggested parachuteless skydiving. Usually one eye is still closed, and he'll roll over and go back to sleep. Rocky is also defiant. VERY defiant. He doesn't like being told what to do. Ever. He also loves to "fight". This involves him attacking while sounding like he's out for blood, but instead of biting, he rolls his lips over his teeth, and doesn't clamp down. Yes, this does in fact result in being covered in drool. Rocky also "makes his bed". I've given him a few pillows, an old comforter, and a throw rug size afghan on which he sleeps. Every night before bed he'll go over and drag, push, pull and rearrange them until they are PERFECT. He'll even get under the covers to rearrange it before he's satisfied. then and only then will he go to bed. If you reach over and jumble it all up, he'll look at you like you are crazy, and then just leave the room. Later he'll come back to do it all again. yeah, Rocky spends a lot of time looking at me like I'm crazy. Finally, Rockstar LOVES the Bean. He loves it with all his doggy heart. Even when I'm not doing anything with it, he'll go sit in it, and look hopeful. The only other thing that comes close to being that loved is whatever toy is newest. See, Rocky is a toy snob. If you get him two toys, and give him one now, and one a few hours later, the first one will cease to exist to Rocky. Well now that you all have a little better insight into his world, let's look at the last few days through his eyes.

I wonder what's going on now? Usually this one-armed guy isn't home this much. I hope he leaves so I can chew on something. Been eyeing that tasty looking physiology book for a while. Hmmm.... looks like he's... yessss... ohh yeaahhh he's heading to the truck!! yayyyyyyy Guess that book will have to wait until later! I wonder where we're going? I hope it's fun! Maybe I can pee on stuff there.

(Short truck ride later)

OMG! Yes!! We really are here! It's that place where all my friends are! I sure hope Frank is here today, he's got the best bark. Yeah between the two of us we can make sure no one sleeps!! Ever! Hmmm... what's this? A chair it seems... what's dummy doing? Not looking? Sweet! Time to pee! OUCH! Dangit how does he know when I'm working my magic. Loser. I'm so gonna bite him one day.... I'll be he thinks we're only playing when we fight. Doesn't even know I'm scoping out his moves... One day... One day...

Dangit! Guess I'm not going down the Hall of Infinite Possibilities today... Sorry Frank. Wonder what this woman wants? I don't see any food... (poke poke check check) hmm... that's not to bad. HEY! What are you doing back there?! (SQUEEEEEZE) DANGIT! I needed that! Man that's gonna take a week at least to build back up. Guess I won't be able to drop my midnight bombs for a while... : ( Hey look another woman!! Yayyyy.... wonder if she's here to play (shot, shot, shot) oh well, guess not...lalalalala... Whoa what's this? My mouth? No friggin way lady, not gonna happen! Must.... resist.... banana....goodness.... dangit. Yea if there weren't three of them I'd have shown them who's boss! Whaaa? Time to go? Yayyyyyyyy Truck!!!
(the next day...)

Wow this place is a madhouse! No one's paying attention to me! :( I think I'll go roam the neighborhooYANK! Dangit! Stuck on the line again! That's it, that book is toast next time I get back inside... I can HEAR that truck, and I'm not in it. If only I could be in it all the time! Talk about a dream come true.... Only if... only if....
(the day the trip started...)

Man this guy has been acting CAARAAAZZZYYYY. He's running around like I was after I got all that fudge off the table... man that was a good time. I'm not letting this guy outta my sight, something is definitely up... Wait what's that? the truck? Why yes, yes I would like to get in, thank you! Hmmm now THIS is different, my toys are in here, and is that food? Yes, yes it is? Wonder why that is? Oh well, who am I to question! I hope this ride is at least an hour, not like all those short rides. Maybe we'll drive by Fido's house. He always gets sooooo jealous when he sees me hanging out in the back of this thing. (Time passes) Man this trip is long! My prayers are answered! Wait hold on.... I wonder if maybe? No! He'd never ditch me! I didn't MEAN to eat that physiology book, it was an accident. I swear, it just landed in my mouth! Actually I think the ferrets might have been involved, too. Maybe if I sit here and act real good he'll keep me. or at least give me to someone with cats.... mmmmmmmm cats......

Well now THIS is strange. I think maybe my pet human has gone senile. We've been in this truck alllll daaayyyyyyy and now we're done and this isn't home at all! Maybe he forgot where he lives? Wait hold on, is he, yes? Yes? He's sleeping in here? Cool! We can sleep together... there we go I'll just lie down right her...OWWW ok maybe not so much. I didn't really want to sleep there anyhow, stupid air mattress... And what's all these strange noises?? I don't think this guy hears them. I better bark to make sure he does. (BARKBARKBARKOWWWWBARKBARKOWWW) fine then deal with the noises yourself, I'm going to bed. Shame I can't muster up a little eau d'rearend for ya... Maybe next time!

Well everyone, I hope you enjoyed what I think MIGHT be going on in Rockstar's head, at least based on the looks I get from him. Until next time!!

Next time, I hope to have some pics and stories of our nation's capitol, so stay tuned!! Remember, Monday is 98 Rock day!

1 comment:

Brian H said...

Just to expand your empathy with Rockstar, it has recently been revealed why dogs LUV to hang out car windows and such: since ½ of their brain is occupied with scent and associated memory and world-view, the high-speed sampling of the local air that a car ride provides is like a firehose of info flooding that huge olifactory lobe. It lights up like a Xmas tree, on data-crack!