The Bean pulled through!

Sorry about not updating those of you who anxiously awaited news on the Bean. I realize a large part of America likely is having trouble at work today because of their lack of sleep last night. I'll apologize now for any downswing in the economy brought about by my lackadaisical approach to my updates. Unfortunately I was operating on about 3 hours sleep, and after the warm reception in NJ by my extended family, the Finks, I was beat. It didn't help that for about three hours, Rockstar turned into friggin Cujo! Seriously, I think the bumpy ride on the tow truck along with the heat and excitement rattled Rockstar to the point of anger. Fortunately, by the evening, he was back to happy-go-drooly as always, and today is back to his lovable self.

Anyhow, after several hours of surgery, with ups and downs, and even a few codes, the Bean was finally closed back up and declared healed! I'm not sure if the guy who smacked the hood and screamed "Demon's be gone!" helped at all, but the mechanics quickly ran him off, and the Bean was set! They told me the engine looked and sounded good, then I pointed at the Bean and they apologized for the confusion and told the other customer the great news... Hehe Actually they did say the Bean seemed to be in good shape mechanically, and the failure was caused by a too old ignition pick up lead (ie: one of them thar wires went bad!) I STRONGLY suspect Matt (the middle manager) MIGHT have had something to do with it but by the time the Baltimore CSI team arrived the fingerprints were too smudged... So all that being said, go ahead and close the DOW early so everyone can get some sleep and I'll return to my travels! Hope to post more tonight, or tomorrow!! See ya then!

The Pinto Bean has a heart attack!

Well everyone.... I did my interview this morning on 98 Rock (Special thanksto those guys) and it went very well!! After it was over I fired up the Bean ansd headed into town in search of food. No less than three miles later, the Bean went into cardiac arrest. I was on the interstate headed south, when I hear a BOOM! and saw black smoke roll out of the tailpipe. It occurred to me things might be about to go badly, so I did what any good motorist would do, smacked the steering wheel and tried to drive a little farther. Needless to say, the result was predictable to say the least!

Well after I got pulled over on the shoulder, I did the only thing I could think of to do. I sat there and laughed at the predicament. I then made a few phone calls and finally ended up calling the 98 Rock people again. I half expected a "Dude you CAN'T be serious!" response, but instead they put the call out on the radio to their listeners. Not a few minutes later I got a call from the folks at The Auto Barn here in Baltimore and they told me help was on the way. Just a few minutes after that the tow truck driver showed up and happily loaded up the Bean and we were off to the hospital... for trucks... Sadly Rockstar had to endure this trip from the back of the Bean, where his tiny brain was further scrambled by the pothole laden roads of inner city Baltimore.

Anyhow, they got the Bean unloaded and immediately rolled inside where they are currently hard at work. The outcome is still up in the air, hopefully I won't be needing a new engine... The surgeons here are currently elbow deep in the Bean innards, likely performing some sort of cardiac massage... for trucks... I've considered going and offering up nmy highly technical and detailed knowledge of all that is Bean, but in the interest of them finishing faster than if I were dispensing bad advice, i'm holding off. Also, Rockstar's doggy stress level has reached redline, and he is barking and growling ateveryone, so he's been placed outside where both of his brain cells can recuperate. Well, we wait anxiously for the verdict, so check back tonight to see if maybe I now drive the Rental Bean. I'd post more, but the good folks here are also feeding me in a moment, so I gotta go. This blog loses to food, any day!

A look through Rockstar's Eyes...

Well everybody, I've successfully made it to DC, and lemme tell ya, the drive is nothing short of beautiful, as I've alluded to in previous posts... I'm staying with a good friend from flight school, so there will be no tales of torment in The Bean. I'm going to try to see my grandfather's burial spot here at Arlington, so expect a possible story about that in the future. I also hope to see some of the historic landmarks, and maybe go ring the doorbell and run over at the White House. I mean, I dunno, it could happen. You may want to monitor CNN for that update though... Anyhow, in lieu of great travel stories, I thought maybe I'd attempt to see the trip from RTD's eyes. While I realize that in real like it would be something like "lalalalalalalaYAYYYTRUCKlalaaaaYAYYYYFOODlalalalaNOOOOPIMPHANDRUNAWAYlalalala" I'll attempt to wizen him up a bit for the story's sake. That being said, for those who are tuning in now, you may want to go back and read the Rocky posts.

Before I start the story though, I feel I should give you a little more insight as to "Who Rocky Is". You know, what he stands for, the kinda dog he "is". Rocky is a night dog. When I have to wake up early, he looks at me like I just suggested parachuteless skydiving. Usually one eye is still closed, and he'll roll over and go back to sleep. Rocky is also defiant. VERY defiant. He doesn't like being told what to do. Ever. He also loves to "fight". This involves him attacking while sounding like he's out for blood, but instead of biting, he rolls his lips over his teeth, and doesn't clamp down. Yes, this does in fact result in being covered in drool. Rocky also "makes his bed". I've given him a few pillows, an old comforter, and a throw rug size afghan on which he sleeps. Every night before bed he'll go over and drag, push, pull and rearrange them until they are PERFECT. He'll even get under the covers to rearrange it before he's satisfied. then and only then will he go to bed. If you reach over and jumble it all up, he'll look at you like you are crazy, and then just leave the room. Later he'll come back to do it all again. yeah, Rocky spends a lot of time looking at me like I'm crazy. Finally, Rockstar LOVES the Bean. He loves it with all his doggy heart. Even when I'm not doing anything with it, he'll go sit in it, and look hopeful. The only other thing that comes close to being that loved is whatever toy is newest. See, Rocky is a toy snob. If you get him two toys, and give him one now, and one a few hours later, the first one will cease to exist to Rocky. Well now that you all have a little better insight into his world, let's look at the last few days through his eyes.

I wonder what's going on now? Usually this one-armed guy isn't home this much. I hope he leaves so I can chew on something. Been eyeing that tasty looking physiology book for a while. Hmmm.... looks like he's... yessss... ohh yeaahhh he's heading to the truck!! yayyyyyyy Guess that book will have to wait until later! I wonder where we're going? I hope it's fun! Maybe I can pee on stuff there.

(Short truck ride later)

OMG! Yes!! We really are here! It's that place where all my friends are! I sure hope Frank is here today, he's got the best bark. Yeah between the two of us we can make sure no one sleeps!! Ever! Hmmm... what's this? A chair it seems... what's dummy doing? Not looking? Sweet! Time to pee! OUCH! Dangit how does he know when I'm working my magic. Loser. I'm so gonna bite him one day.... I'll be he thinks we're only playing when we fight. Doesn't even know I'm scoping out his moves... One day... One day...

Dangit! Guess I'm not going down the Hall of Infinite Possibilities today... Sorry Frank. Wonder what this woman wants? I don't see any food... (poke poke check check) hmm... that's not to bad. HEY! What are you doing back there?! (SQUEEEEEZE) DANGIT! I needed that! Man that's gonna take a week at least to build back up. Guess I won't be able to drop my midnight bombs for a while... : ( Hey look another woman!! Yayyyy.... wonder if she's here to play (shot, shot, shot) oh well, guess not...lalalalala... Whoa what's this? My mouth? No friggin way lady, not gonna happen! Must.... resist.... banana....goodness.... dangit. Yea if there weren't three of them I'd have shown them who's boss! Whaaa? Time to go? Yayyyyyyyy Truck!!!

(the next day...)

Wow this place is a madhouse! No one's paying attention to me! :( I think I'll go roam the neighborhooYANK! Dangit! Stuck on the line again! That's it, that book is toast next time I get back inside... I can HEAR that truck, and I'm not in it. If only I could be in it all the time! Talk about a dream come true.... Only if... only if....

(the day the trip started...)

Man this guy has been acting CAARAAAZZZYYYY. He's running around like I was after I got all that fudge off the table... man that was a good time. I'm not letting this guy outta my sight, something is definitely up... Wait what's that? the truck? Why yes, yes I would like to get in, thank you! Hmmm now THIS is different, my toys are in here, and is that food? Yes, yes it is? Wonder why that is? Oh well, who am I to question! I hope this ride is at least an hour, not like all those short rides. Maybe we'll drive by Fido's house. He always gets sooooo jealous when he sees me hanging out in the back of this thing. (Time passes) Man this trip is long! My prayers are answered! Wait hold on.... I wonder if maybe? No! He'd never ditch me! I didn't MEAN to eat that physiology book, it was an accident. I swear, it just landed in my mouth! Actually I think the ferrets might have been involved, too. Maybe if I sit here and act real good he'll keep me. or at least give me to someone with cats.... mmmmmmmm cats......




Well now THIS is strange. I think maybe my pet human has gone senile. We've been in this truck alllll daaayyyyyyy and now we're done and this isn't home at all! Maybe he forgot where he lives? Wait hold on, is he, yes? Yes? He's sleeping in here? Cool! We can sleep together... there we go I'll just lie down right her...OWWW ok maybe not so much. I didn't really want to sleep there anyhow, stupid air mattress... And what's all these strange noises?? I don't think this guy hears them. I better bark to make sure he does. (BARKBARKBARKOWWWWBARKBARKOWWW) fine then deal with the noises yourself, I'm going to bed. Shame I can't muster up a little eau d'rearend for ya... Maybe next time!

Well everyone, I hope you enjoyed what I think MIGHT be going on in Rockstar's head, at least based on the looks I get from him. Until next time!!

Next time, I hope to have some pics and stories of our nation's capitol, so stay tuned!! Remember, Monday is 98 Rock day!

I've gotta face for radio!

Just a quick line while I have net access. I'm confirmed for Monday morning on 98 Rock in Baltimore, so if you want to listen, I hear there's some good country stations there! Hehe I appreciate them inviting me on though, so hopefully i'm not a disappointment! Anyhow, more posts will follow later, and in a more humorous style. I saw funny things today....

In other news, the Pinto Bean underwent surgery today

We await with baited breath to see how the Bean made out.... Did it pull through?? Is the whole trip falling apart? Does anyone know who REALLY shot JR?? Stay tuned!

The Legend of The Pinto Bean

The Legend of the Pinto Bean
AKA: How I came to own this behemoth

Hopefully at least four or five of you have taken the time to read my whole blog, and are now anxiously wondering HOW/WHY I have the Bean. At least one of you might even be a bit envious… Its ok, I understand… Not everyone can pull off the sort of coolness required by The Bean. Don’t worry… Neither can I. Without further ado, the legend!


Our unit, R Troop, 4/278th Cavalry was activated to go to Afghanistan on 22 Oct 2005. The big plan was to fly our Apaches down to Fort Hood, where we would undergo weeks of pointless training of how to do a ground convoy so we would be fully prepared to fight in Afghanistan. Right. Ground convoys. Apparently someone didn’t get the memo that we WERE PILOTS! Anyhow, there was flying involved, too. There we learned how to fly/fight in Iraq. Yeah… Another lost memo… Anyhow, when we got to Fort Hood, we obviously were sans vehicles. Well this of course was on purpose, since we were told by out higher ups that we weren’t allowed personally owned vehicles (POVs) at Hood. Unfortunately, no one seemed to have remembered to send this memo to the higher up units we were joining, so we were the only guys on the ground with no transportation. Luckily the Idaho unit we fell under saw the problem and was completely sympathetic to our plight, and supplied us with no less the one single van. For about 45 people. The van couldn’t leave post either.


Well being the super squared away Lieutenant I was (read: not too bright), I decided I would get a vehicle for at least the pilots to use, since we were separated from the enlisted guys, and they needed the van more than us. I went down to that great bastion and reserve of crappy vehicles owned by soldiers and for sale on post, the aptly named “Lemon Lot”, and began my search. After a long fifteen to twenty seconds of perusing the lot, I saw what was to be our future, The Bean. Now mind you this was not just any old vehicle, this was a vehicle with CLASS! This was a vehicle with STYLE! This was a vehicle with almost as much rust as undamaged pain AND to top it off, a “SPOILED DOBIE ON BOARD” sticker featured prominently on the rear window. Namely though, this was a vehicle that could hold twelve strapping combat ready highly trained ready to kill attack pilots. It was perfect. It was $1500 dollars.


I quickly called the number on the window and arranged a test drive. The owner showed up and amazingly happened to be a Kiowa pilot. I knew this was going to go well. We fired up the Bean and headed out to the open road. Much to mine (and probably his) amazement, EVERYTHING worked! Ice cold air, check. Windows, check. Cruise control, check. Fifteen hundred bucks, not so much. Anyhow, we returned triumphantly to the parking lot where the owner immediately went about attempting to unload the Bean as fast as his hot little hands could sign the title. At this point I stopped him, and began what was to be a long round of negotiating. It went a lot like this:

“So, you want fifteen hundred huh?”

“Yeah, that sounds fair.”

“I’ll give you a thousand.”

“A thousand? That’s not enough!”

“Look! Quick! A roll of twenties! Cash!”

“Sign right here!”

We then both walked away, no doubt thinking the same thing…. “Sucker.”


We then hopped in our newfound prize, and went back to the company area to show off our gleaming new possession. We pulled up at the barracks and I knew then I was a hero. The stares of envy were nearly too much. Yes, people came from all around to admire the Bean. The call went out, beckoning all far and wide to gaze upon our new steed. It got a little garbled by the wind and sounded a lot like “Hey everyone! Come look at this piece of crap the LT just dragged in! Stupid LT”. I think it was actually “Wow everybody the LT just saved us all! I love this new thing! Hoist him, upon our shoulders so that he might know our joy!” Oddly, there was no hoisting.


Anyhow, by now you’re wondering HOW it GOT the name. Amazingly, the Bean was unnamed at purchase, so a dilemma was in the works. Fortunately, it was quickly solved when CW3 Flanigan arrived. Tim walked over, tossed away his ever-present cigarette while trying not to laugh, and said these fateful words, “Well we don’t have String Bean anymore, but at least now we have The Pinto Bean.” The christening of a cherubic newborn could scarcely have been more beautiful. There were even tears of joy at this great event. Then people asked if I was gonna take them to go get some danged food.


Anyhow, String Bean had been Mr. Flanigan’s beat down and never washed green Jeep Cherokee back in TN. String Bean had been with Tim since Germany, and was near and dear to his heart. While being ugly as all get out, it was reliable as can be, and well known amongst all who came to our airfield. Tim unfortunately had to sell String Bean to one of the sergeants in the unit before we left who, sadly, washed, polished, and cleaned her until she was no longer recognizable as the String Bean. Anyhow, it’s because of Mr. Flanigan that the Bean is named, and will remain so for as long as I own her. Sadly, Mr. Flanigan will not know of these adventures as he was killed in action the first week of July, 2006, when his aircraft went down outside of Kandahar. I still remember the last time I saw him. Through my morphine laced haze he told me “LT don’t you worry, we’ll see you when we get back to the states.” Tim left behind two young children, a loving wife, a lot of friends, and memories to last a lifetime. I know now if he were here and heard of my trip, he’d likely say “LT are you serious? That’s the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of! Good luck man!” I’ll see you on the green, Tim.