As I drove out, I heard a loud "Gobbledeegobbledeegobble" and caught the stinky end of a wild turkey as it disappeared behind a parked pick-up truck. Now usually when one sees some wild turkey back behind a pick-up truck, one also looks for its' companions, Jack Daniel's, Johnny Walker, and that oh-so-fine Mad Dog 20/20. Also usually present is a passed out redneck, often in the back of said pick-up truck. This time however, the wild turkey was of the non-alcoholic kind, and I was excited. I immediately parked the truck and grabbed the camera, and prepared for the stalk. Now for those of you who've never been on a turkey hunt, lemme tell ya a few things. Turkeys are at the OTHER end of the spectrum from Rockstar. Well, so are most things, but my point is, they're generally pretty smart and crafty. A turkey can see you solely by the whites of your eyes, and are well known for following hunters around all day, w.o the hunter ever seeing them. Kinda like how a woman feels when following her man thru a sporting goods store. This being said, I knew I was going to have to draw on my experiences running black ops into Laos after the Tet Offensive if I was gonna get the drop on this Tom.
I instinctively reached for my camouflage face paint to draw on a picture perfect forest scene that would make Bob Ross proud, and certainly hide me from the turkey. It was then I realized I don't carry that stuff anymore, and the best I could manage was my Camo Quillen College of Medicine hat, which may or may not have been put on to keep my cow-licks down... Well after coming up empty hand (not a grammatical error...) I briefly considered smearing mud all over myself a la Predator, but quickly scrapped the idea when I realized it would require getting dirty. I began a slow stalk towards the truck where the turkey was preparing to make his last stand. I drew upon all of my survival skills I learned in survival school, as well as even a few ninja skillz I learned on the internet. There was no way he ever stood a chance, the element of surprise was to be mine. I slowly crept up on him, and he slowly moved away from where I thought he'd be. Apparently ninjaskillz.com was about to let me down. I finally rounded the side of the truck, camera at the ready, prepared to go straight Rambo with a camera on the Tom, only to be greeted with more tail feathers. apparently this was Yogi the Turkey (smarter than the average turkey.) I wasn't worried though, because thanks to years of education in physics and other hard classes like that, I knew I was smarter than the turkey, and better yet, I knew where the turkey was headed...
So I turn around and go around the other side of the truck, again to see tail feathers. I dismissed the idea that maybe I was seeing the back end of two turkeys, and they were trying to lure me into a trap, but I still stayed at my end of the truck because there was no way I was falling for that. Again. For some reason distant memories of playing "tag" as a child flooded into my brain, and I had a brilliant idea, I would just stay put and wait on ol' Tom. As sure as Rocky will run into a closed plate glass door every time, the Tom doubled back. Unfortunately for him, Homo sapiens was about to win this battle of the species! I raised my camera, salivating over the though of the great picture I was about to bag when it happened. That scourge of the campground. That denizen of the fast lane. That evil that strikes when you are most in a hurry came by; the 40Ft camper with car in tow, driving along at about about 9,000,000,000 RPM in first gear, shiny bald head barely visible over the steering wheel... Well at the site of this lumbering behemoth, the Tom deflated and lit out for the hills. I thought for a moment I might still be able to save the moment when he slowed briefly to decide if he wanted to ride the teeter-totter. Unfortunately, the Tom was alone and a friendless childhood clued me in that riding alone was just no fun, so he continued on, never to be seen again... All that remains are these pictures.
That story told, there was little else worth mentioning today. Tomorrow I hope to wander around Bar Harbor, Maine for a while. After that I'm likely heading out towards maybe Vermont and upstate NY. So if anyone here has an extra filet mignon they need devoured, just drop me a line and the Traveling Menagerie will head your way!! Also, my ever so critical middle manager has pointed out that apparently I seem to think too much stuff is "beautiful" and therefore I need to invest in a thesaurus. Because of this I've tried hard to refrain from using that term in this story, so if you failed to laugh, it's because my vocabulary was STRIPPED of my most beloved and powerful word. Well everyone, until tomorrow, Good Day!
Also for those who are wondering what broke, and placing side bets on what specific part of the Bean it was, here ya go. Today I had to replace my cell phone, a Motorola Q as it decided it just didn't wanna play nice anymore. Luckily Verizon direct exchanged it, so I was thrilled! Also, the auto focus on my camera decided that it no longer felt the need to be gainfully employed, so one quick stop at Best Buy later, viola! New camera! Thanks again all my beloved readers for you care and concern! Sleep well knowing the fuzzy pictures will be no more!